Autistic masking, dishonesty & misplaced power
Jo just posted this powerful piece that I wanted to share:
It includes a piece written by our daughter. She blows me away with her self-awareness, open vulnerability, and talent for writing. I am so lucky to be her Dad.
The trigger for Jo's piece was a new campaign to drive up school attendance. It is not landing well with parents.
Here is my experience.
The school our kids go to have recently introduced a policy of fining parents when kids take unauthorised absences (particularly for in-term time holidays).
There are 3 frustrating things about policies like this.
First, it's ableist. Many kids will perform better over the long-run if they are allowed to manage their energy levels appropriately, which may mean missing school some days.
We tell adults all the time to practice self-care. Why don't we encourage our kids to do the same?
There is nothing rational about stating - as their school have done - that the current hours per week, weeks per term and terms per year is optimal for “academic results and also the improvement in young people's mental health and wellbeing”. Stop treating all kids as though they have identical needs.
Secondly, it's ineffective. The school have said “there are 190 days in a school year, leaving 175 days to book holidays out of school time”
As if people book holidays during term time because they couldn't find a time to go on those 175 days! It's all about cost. Holidays are massively cheaper in term time.
And the fines - charged as £60, bizarrely, per parent - don't come close to closing that cost gap. It's still cheaper to go on holiday during term. They are just penalising less well off families, who may well be the ones most in need of a holiday together.
Thirdly, it's patronising, dishonest, and over-steps the role of the state. Schools are there to educate children, not police parenting decisions. They are providing a service to tax payers. Unfortunately, like many public services, they act as though they are doing us a favour rather than treating us as customers.
They pretend this is about what is best for the kids. The reality is they need to drive up attendance to hold on to their Ofsted Outstanding rating. That's fine - maybe that is in the interests of the kids - but let's just be honest about what is really behind these policies.
Cut the bullshit and maybe we can work together. The partnership they say they want doesn't work when one party is lies to the other.
Let parents decide what is best for their children (these kids don't belong to the state), be honest with us, and stop discriminating against lower income families and neurodiverse kids.
School attendance is a complex and multi-dimensional thing to optimise for. This goverment campaign is a sledgehammer that hasn't even hit the nut.
We need to do better for our kids.
/rant over