I've just arrived in Ireland to join the staff team for a Mankind Project New Warrior Training Adventure.
These weekends are special in so many ways. I get a lot from them personally, and love supporting the men who come to participate to get whatever it is they came for.
Staffing this weekend has brought something to a head for me personally too.
Since January I've been slowly refining my personal mission statement. A mission is a short sentence or two that serves to remind me of the man I want to be.
We spent a whole episode of the Show Up! podcast discussing mission for conscious leaders:
A mission is supposed to be a stretch, something challenging, a way of showing up in the world that doesn't always come naturally.
A mission statement isn't supposed to sit gathering dust in a corner of our minds - it is a living, breathing vision that guides decisions we make every day.
I first formulated a personal mission in 2021. That mission served me well but I've recently realised I've outgrown it.
I need to bring it up to date.
Personal mission, spoken publicly
My thoughts on my mission have been slowly evolving for several months now. The time has come to nail down the mission that will guide me for at least the next few years.
In the staff container at the NWTA we frequently check-in with each other, and those check-ins often involve stating our mission statements. Men living in mission is central to so much of the weekend.
I'm conscious that I want to deeply believe in my mission when I speak it to this group of more than 50 men. It must come from the heart, or it's meaningless.
So, ahead of this weekend, I've been reflecting and meditating on a new personal mission statement.
One that is a stretch for the man I am becoming, not just for the man I was.
The journey always continues
My original mission statement centered on Joy. Expressing joy, welcoming joy, encouraging joy in others.
It was a challenge for me to step forwards, be present, connect with others and accept joy without shame.
Joy was never really expressed in the house I grew up in. The idea of being loud, playful, or flamboyant was quickly judged and shutdown by my parents.
I took on a lot of shame at the idea of being silly.
My first mission was a stretch to combat that, for the sake of my kids. I wanted to push past my embarrassment and self-consciousness to be freely playful with them.
That will always be a stretch for me. I’m not done on that piece of work. But my mission needs to do more now.
I need a mission that works in all areas of my life.
Being an authentic man, everywhere
For years I have felt a pull to “fit in”. To figure out how others behave in any given situation and align with that.
This might be an autistic thing. I'm not sure.
I have been reflecting on what it means to be an authentic man. To show up as who you are, regardless of how others are. To “fit in” where you fit in, and don't worry if you don’t.
To let go of the fear of other people's judgement.
I've realised something about that authenticity. My mission statement needs to push me to be authentic in all the important areas of my life. It needs to push me to be wholly authentic, all the time.
Joy remains important, but it's not the only thing I care about. Family is central to my world, but there are other important elements - like my work, my friends, and my other interests.
I want a mission statement that pushes me to authentically show up as the man I want to be in all those places.
My new mission statement
Here it is - the few words that will guide me from here on out:
I am here, now, welcoming all of me and all of you. I hold space for us to be present, productive, and playful in this abundant world.
These few words do many things for me.
They remind me to be present (here, now). They remove judgement, of myself or others. All feelings and thoughts are welcome. All aspects of a person are welcome.
They connect me to other people as I make time and space for them wherever we are. They push me to be productive, and to help others be productive - this is central to my professional work, a huge part of my life. One of my key goals in reviewing my mission was to make it relevant to my work and help me show up authentically there.
And yes, these few words still remind me to be playful, to feel joy, and express it freely.
Finally, these words remind me that our world - family, community, nations, and planet - is extraordinarily abundant.
There is more than enough for everyone to get what they need to thrive, whether what they need is love, time, wealth or the planet's resources.
We can afford to share generously.
I'm passionate about this new mission. It gives me focus and guides my decisions. It will serve me well and helps me stay clear on the man I am choosing to be.
I'm looking forward to speaking it proudly to this circle of men.